School Update

Thank you all for reading our posts and making us feel special. We treasure your comments, such as, “Why do you have so many pictures of coffee?” Listen – this place is like Wonka’s factory for delicious hot beverages! How could we not?!? We have also included a picture of a colossal prehistoric coffee bean. Alright, so it’s not a coffee bean – but we have hope for a genetically engineered Jurassic cappuccino future.

Others have commented, “Aren’t you there to teach? Why do we never hear about school?” Fine. I’ll take you through my day.

I was the first teacher at school this morning, meaning I beat Clarissa today. I rang the bell, took the role, and we got right into our lessons. I began by yelling, “Cry ‘Havoc,’ and let slip the dogs of war” in my most fearsome voice. The Shakespearean delivery suffered in the Canadian accent, but the students sat riveted while I delivered my lesson on stepping up their vocabulary with ‘havoc’ and other words.

We broke for morning tea and the kids had a bit of a run around in the back paddock. I rang the bell again and we were back at it for reading and maths before lunch. The afternoon classes were broken up when a delivery van got stuck in mud in the aforementioned paddock and I pulled my strongest students to help me push it out. Half of them were barefoot, some hadn’t even worn shoes today. Jack ended up with mud up to his knees and I swore the heavens would fall if he left muddy bare footprints throughout the school. He got himself sorted out and we played netball for the rest of the arvo.

And, yes, this is an average monotonous day so I have been reluctant to bore you with dreary recollections.

A common question is, “Are you bored out in the sticks?” The answer is no. I have introduced Kristine to the wonders of Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica. When I stubbed my toe the other night, she quoted The Final Frontier and said, “Your pain runs deep. Share it with me!”

In your face, all you who sniggered while I suffered through “So You Think You Can Dance”: I have a wife who watches Battlestar Galactica and enjoys it. Highlights from our last trip to Wellington were the alien autopsy [pictured] and the Cylon detector [pictured].

The last question also came from my detractors, “So Joseph, how are you coping without video games?” As if dangling my dark mistress of distraction in front of me could lure me back into the abyss. I tell you I don’t play videogames here – I LIVE THEM!